lil tamago#egg

• 🌗 Two Different Players$19.37

  Daytime KDA 1.77. After 10 PM: 1.47, across 26 night games. You are two different players, and the night one owes the day one an apology.

• 🌴 Weekend Warrior$1.20

  65% win rate on weekends, 50% on weekdays (20 vs 14 games). Rested you is a different rank. Tired-after-work you is donating.

• 🧽 The Sponge$6.70

  You absorb 150 damage a round and deal 120. Every duel you take is a donation with extra steps. At least the enemy economy loves you.

• 👑 The Protected$10.50

  Teammates avenge 26% of your deaths — you avenge 4% of theirs. You are royalty and they are the royal guard.

• 🧱 The Game-4 Wall$2.98

  On long session days your KDA falls off a cliff after game 3 (down 0.33 KDA). The data has spoken: three games, then touch grass.

• 😰 The Choker$8.06

  You win 77.8% of blowout games but only 52% of close games. When the pressure is on and every round matters, you fold like a lawn chair.

• ⛰️ Peak Performance-$9.22

  Your best 10-game stretch had a 2.12 KDA (vs your 1.45 average). Whatever you were doing during that run, bottle it up and sell it.

• ⏰ Creature of Habit$3.84

  74% of your games are played between 11 PM - 3 AM. Your body literally has a ranked schedule. Your mouse starts moving on its own at that time.

*** THANK YOU FOR THROWING ***