Two#avr

• 🛗 The Elevator Down$19.72

  -82 RR across your last 20 ranked games, including one -24 RR donation. The rank isn't falling — it's being actively lowered, game by game.

• 🗓️ The Weekday Professional$10.20

  47% win rate on weekdays but 31% on weekends. Monday-you is a professional. Saturday-you queues with the boys and pays for it.

• 🧊 Reverse Tilt-$5.12

  You play BETTER after losing (1.3 KDA post-loss vs 1.09 post-win). Losses make you lock in. Genuinely rare wiring.

• 👑 The Protected$10.50

  Teammates avenge 23% of your deaths — you avenge 3% of theirs. You are royalty and they are the royal guard.

• ⏰ Creature of Habit$3.84

  70% of your games are played between 6 PM - 10 PM. Your body literally has a ranked schedule. Your mouse starts moving on its own at that time.

• 💀 Down Horrendous$18.80

  A 5-game loss streak. At some point it stops being bad luck and starts being a skill issue. The queue-again button is not your friend.

• 🗺️ Map Dodger Detected$7.94

  You win 100% on Sunset and 0% on Summit. The loading screen alone changes your rank.

• 🔫 Weapon Loyalty Test$4.25

  58% of your kills: one gun, the Vandal. It's not a loadout, it's a relationship.

*** THANK YOU FOR THROWING ***