Guyfrom2005#00001

• 🛗 The Elevator Down$19.72

  -66 RR across your last 20 ranked games, including one -30 RR donation. The rank isn't falling — it's being actively lowered, game by game.

• 🚶 The Walk-Away-$10.10

  You only requeue quickly after 31% of losses — you actually log off when it's not your night. Rarest discipline in ranked.

• 🥷 Suicidal Entry Surcharge$14.55

  You take the first fight of the round 18.7% of the time and die first 14.5% of the time (lobby average: ~10%). First in, first down — your duo has accepted this about you.

• 🫠 The Cursed One$19.95

  A 18.8% win rate. Your match history looks like a horror movie. At this point the matchmaker might be doing it on purpose.

• 💀 Down Horrendous$18.80

  A 6-game loss streak. At some point it stops being bad luck and starts being a skill issue. The queue-again button is not your friend.

• 🎢 The Roller Coaster$19.36

  Your performance swings wildly game to game. One match you're the MVP, the next you're MIA. Your teammates never know which version shows up.

• 📉 Downward Spiral$18.42

  Your KDA dropped from 1.26 to 0.96 over the season. Might be time to step away from ranked and touch grass.

• 🌙 Sleep is for the Weak$8.63

  56% of your games are played between 11 PM and 5 AM. Your rank isn't the only thing suffering — so is your circadian rhythm.

*** THANK YOU FOR THROWING ***